I am a socially awkward person. Yes, I am. The other day, I went to a party with a few people from work, the party was filled with people whom I did not know. And obviously, the whole point of these parties/social gatherings is to mingle and talk to people. But because of my socially awkwardness, I did not know what to say during conversations and I mainly just stand there awkwardly beside my co-workers listening to the conversation and trying to look like I’m contributing to the conversation. I mean it’s not like I’m an introvert because I do love being around people and talking to them but sometimes I just don’t know what to say to them or that I feel awkward around new people 99% of the time.
I came across an article talking around the signs of socially awkward people and I think I do fit the profile. Anyway, here are some of the signs that was listed (if anyone even cares about it but I thought I should share):
1. Feeling Nervous In Social Setting
Well, I don’t think I feel nervous in social settings. More like awkward. Especially around new people and people who I don’t know too well or that I can’t really have a conversation with.
2. Not Understanding Social Norms
Under this point, the article mentioned that socially awkward people does not understand social norms due to the fact they don’t know how is it okay to start a conversation with people or what topics to talk about. That does apply to me especially the not knowing what topics to talk about with new people. After the ‘Hi, whats your name?’ and ‘What do you do?’, there’s always this awkward silence where both parties are unsure of what to talk about next and they just awkwardly stand beside each other sipping their drinks. Yeah, that always happens to me. As for the starting the conversation part, I usually just go up to people who are standing alone and introduce myself but usually I have to muster a certain amount of courage before approaching people. But I’m still trying to figure out how to approach a group of people and start a conversation with them. I guess larger groups are more intimidating?
3. The Lack of Conversation Flow
I think this point is pretty self-explanatory. Because I don’t know what to talk about to new people, there is always this lack of conversation flow and a whole lot of awkward silences that follows. And as someone who hates awkward silences, I would think of any sort of questions to ask the other party just to cover up the awkward silences. And usually these questions that won’t go anywhere. This is why I usually like having people who I’m familiar with around, in case things go awkward. But in the end, my friend will be the one having an actual conversation with the other person while I’m just standing at the sidelines pretending I’m a part of the conversation and that I’m making actual contribution to whatever they’re talking about.
4. The Lack of Meaningful Connection with Others
Due to the fact that socially awkward people struggle with keeping a conversation going and feeling at ease in social setting, they find it difficult to connect with others. Even though I do have friends and all, there isn’t someone outside my family that I’m really close with and that who really knows me. This is definitely due to me not being able to fully express myself to people outside my family.
I am definitely trying to come out of my shell and get to kick this socially awkward thing because I really do love meeting new people but the problem is that I don’t know how to bond or connect with them. I guess this explains my lack of close friends. I’m not saying that being socially awkward is a bad thing but I guess meeting new people is just a part of life, whether we like it or not and I’m just trying to learn how to be more comfortable when it comes to meeting new people in social settings. But everything takes time and hopefully one day I’ll be able to overcome this socially awkward thing.